عابرة سبيل

All throughout our lives our environments change but there is one thing that remains constant, no matter what situation we may fall into. This is the fact that we are constantly in a relationship with Allah. With each emotion that we feel that results into action, we are paving our path way to our permanent abode in the After Life.

There are four main states that we may find ourselves in

1. The State of Blessings

2. The State of Hardships

3. The State of Sins

4. The State of Obedience

These four states are not completely separated from one another, and a person may be going through more than one at the same time. With each one of these states, there is a specific form of worship that is mandated.

The State of Blessings

In the state of ni`am, or blessings, the believers should respond with Shukr. Shukr is often times translated as “gratitude,” however it encompasses more than just that. There are three parts to shukr and if one of these parts is not present, the shukr is not complete. The blessing must be reflected in:

o Your heart

· Strive to be pleased internally with what Allah has bestowed upon you. Never think “I deserve this” or “I earned this myself.”

o Your limbs

· Be sure not to commit any haraam with the blessing that Allah has bestowed upon you. This is the epitome of ungratefulness.

o Your tongue

· Thank Allah verbally and be sure to not boast about what has been bestowed upon you.

We must also remember that if you are thankful during times of ease and blessings, Allah will increase those blessings. On the other hand, if you are ungrateful, the blessings that Allah has bestowed upon you will decrease and eventually perish.

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I went searching for their faults
Trying to mentally get them back for all they did
Trying to comfort myself during these painful days
Hoping their shortcomings would make the pain go away

But as I searched through their closets
prepared to find skeletons galore
I found myself drowning in my own sins
sins that were hiding behind each and every door

For each open sin I found of theirs
I found two of mine to hide
While different in nature, taste and color
They were leading to my own demise
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Source: http://nychaplain.wordpress.com

I’ve been traveling a lot in the last few years of my life speaking to different communities both in the United States and abroad.  In at least the last two years of my travels, there hasn’t been a lecture or event that I’ve participated in that hasn’t introduced me to at least one young woman (and usually more) that has been abused in some way during her life and, subsequently, doesn’t know what to do about it.

Rape, molestation, beatings, verbal abuse, emotional distress, the issues continue on end.   In most instances, the hardest part of it all seemingly stems from the young woman being unable to find someone to speak to about it.    And so she will follow suit unknowingly to those who came before her and experienced similar abuses, left to talk only to herself.    Critical questions of why it happened to her in the first place now take on the form of self criticism, and in most instances the young girl will begin to blame herself for everything that has happened.    Why did my husband hit me?  Why did my uncle take advantage of me?  Why did my husband cheat on me?  Why did that boy end up not marrying me after having an intimate relationship with me?  Perhaps it is my fault and I deserve it.

As a Muslim man, I can say its already difficult enough to understand how to be Muslim in the context of the United States.   I think its also important for us to acknowledge that most of us haven’t grown up being taught how to be men.   If you are a man and you are reading this, at no point in time should you ever think its ok to hit a woman.

I spoke at the University of Pennsylvania on the topic of Dealing with Domestic Violence in the Muslim Community a couple of weeks ago.   You can hear some of my thoughts on the subject matter in the videos below.  Please do share with others if you think its worth it.   I’ll write something more in depth in the future.

Real Men Don’t Hit Women Pt1 - w/Khalid Latif from Khalid Latif on Vimeo.

Real Men Don’t Hit Women Pt2 - w/Khalid Latif from Khalid Latif on Vimeo.

Its a strange concept, for the mind to comprehend
but the heart beats strong and aches with no amend
Missing Him, with every beat
Craving his presence through every defeat

Tears pour down, for this Beloved Soul
I want you near me now, before I lose control
The Man who helped those in need
the Man who, by Allah’s will, guided people away from violence and greed

He made every one He met feel worthy of living
Gave them hope in Allah, the Merciful and Forgiving
He soothed the souls and cooled the eyes
He wouldn’t tolerate behavior filled with deceit and hurtful lies

Today I close my eyes, and imagine him near

I’ve never seen his face, but his silhouette I can see clear

What would He do today, if He was here with us
to witness the deceit–the lies–the human lives lead by lusts

I ask Allah to forgive, you and I tonight
May he cause us to be of those who in His cause we fight
not a fight with swords–guns and other weapons
a fight of a soul who is preparing to be reckoned

Its a strange concept, for the mind to comprehend
but the heart beats strong and aches with no amend
Missing Him, with every beat
Craving his presence through every defeat

Missing the Man I never Met
But even that aching pain, is a God send.

There is a story which Jalaluddin Rumi tells of an ant that’s creeping across the carpet in a mosque, and the ant complains to God saying: “what is this, these bumps, and strange colours, and patterns, this must have been created just as a meaningless obstacle course, what a futile thing to have made.” But of course the carpet maker, looking at it from above can see the patterns and the purpose of it, and can see that the whole thing is perfect and is good. And Allah is often like that. We often can’t make sense of the misfortunes because we are too dimensional, we are at ground level, we can’t see what it all means, but the khalifa of Allah subhanahu wa’tala knows even if he can’t always see that this is a manifestation of Allah’s will which is always good and always perfect and always beautiful. ~ Shaykh Abdal Hakim Murad

taken from here

Rocks hold firm while water’s might
Sends pebbles rolling left and right.
Call pebbles rock? Set firm their goal?
First flash flood, still pebbles roll.
Not name, nor goal divide the two.
It’s how they act. It’s what they do.
Size dictates to stone, but you’re in control.
Are you rock or pebble? Will you hold or roll?

- Manly Grant from Rhymes for the Land

Amazing piece of advice taken directly from a talk that Dr. Abdal Hakim Jackson gave the 2010 RIS Convention.

“Please Brothers and Sisters, have some mercy on your scholars, your imams,
your activists–Brothers and Sisters. You have no idea of some of the
pressures they are under. You have no idea how thinly they are spread. You
have no idea of what they have to confront on a daily basis. They have to
confront you, as the Muslims—they have to confront the non Muslims. They’re
away from their families. They have families too—they have children too—they
have pressures too, and they need your support. And if you can’t agree with
them—fine—at least make dua for them. Make dua for their families. […]keep
them in your prayers. Pray that Allah protects their families in their
absence. Pray that Allah not allow the pressures of trying to contribute to
this ummah not be enough to rip their families apart. Please brothers and
sisters, pray for your leaders, prayer for your imams, pray for your
scholars—and don’t forget them in your dua.”

Dr. Yusuf al-Qaradawi wrote:

“The method that I’ve employed over the course of my entire life is: That I seek to build and I don’t destroy, I unify and I don’t divide; I leave [other scholars] to make their own choices, and I will not force my opinions and legal conclusions on them, nor will I let them force me to follow their opinions and legal verdicts. If Allah [The exalted] ordered His noble Messenger [may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him] to say to those of other faiths, “To you is your religion, and to me is my religion” then how could I not say to my own Muslim brothers: “To you is your opinion and to me is mine, and to you are your actions and to me are mine?”

taken from here

“When a child has a tantrum and cries for chocolates and sweets, a mother will not give in. She knows what is more beneficial for her child and will only give that.

At that time, not giving chocolates and sweets is what is best for the child.

Similarly, when we cry and beg Allah ta’ala to answer our prayers we receive nothing but goodness.

If we do not get what we ask for, we should believe that there is definitely wisdom behind our not getting it, and some benefit for us.

We must accept and believe that any decision Allah ta’ala makes for us is for our own well-being and benefit.” -Shaykh Mohammad Saleem Dhorat

and for Allah is the highest of examples

By Edgar Albert Guest

I have to live with myself and so
I want to be fit for myself to know.
I want to be able as days go by,
always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don’t want to stand with the setting sun
and hate myself for the things I have done.
I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf
a lot of secrets about myself
and fool myself as I come and go
into thinking no one else will ever know
the kind of person I really am,
I don’t want to dress up myself in sham.
I want to go out with my head erect
I want to deserve all men’s respect;
but here in the struggle for fame and wealth
I want to be able to like myself.
I don’t want to look at myself and know that
I am bluster and bluff and empty show.
I never can hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself and so,
whatever happens I want to be
self respecting and conscience free.