admin on December 7th, 2010

I went searching for their faults
Trying to mentally get them back for all they did
Trying to comfort myself during these painful days
Hoping their shortcomings would make the pain go away

But as I searched through their closets
prepared to find skeletons galore
I found myself drowning in my own sins
sins that were hiding behind each and every door

For each open sin I found of theirs
I found two of mine to hide
While different in nature, taste and color
They were leading to my own demise

Apparently we are a lot alike
I found that out you see

We were both hurting the same person
And that person was me.

As for them, I cannot change
Their actions are their own
But my own fate is at stake
And on that day I will be judged alone.

While their shortcomings only saddened me more
I found out something important through this
The more I busy myself with my own faults
The more the pain they caused seems to be dismissed

No time to dwell in my own defeat
I’ve got years of ghaflah to try and erase
Raise my hands up to my lord
‘I’m craving to see your blessed face!’

Oh Allah cause me to be of the rightly guided
And busy me with bettering myself
and when this life filled with sorrow has subsided
I want to be granted that, blessed, promised place

Allahumma innee dhalamtu nafsi dhulman katheera
Wala yaghfiruz zhunooba illa anta faghfirlee
Maghfiratam min ‘indika war hamni innaka
Antal Ghafooror Raheem

(hover over words for translation)