admin on September 26th, 2011

Based on a mixture of advices I got from very near and dear people, my hands hit the keyboard and this is what appeared:

I asked him ‘What are the secrets to my heart’
He said, ‘guard it with all your might
protect it from evil, protect it from sin
remember nothings from you, its all from Him
when everything is long gone,
your heart will be the one to win
making a connection with Him that you never imagined
filling up your gaps like you could never fathom’

With tears I said ‘but my heart is dead,
no more feeling…no more flesh
nothing but rock and dirt
I lost the meaning of life way back when’

He said ‘Don’t turn away, keep on knocking the door
Allah will answer…you’ll be picked up off the floor
your heart will become tender, filled with both happiness and grief
life will return, if only you believe’

With tear struck eyes I reached for my heart
‘you cant imagine the pain, imagine how much I’ve fought
I’ve trusted needlessly,
I’ve lost the real me
I just want to go home
home to Him, where I belong
Is there any way? To bypass the pain?
Bypass the horror?
forget this life and just move forward?’

with tear struck eyes he smiled back
‘you cant expect it to be as easy as that?
you have to turn to Him,
take the pain with stride
reach forward but don’t shut the past behind you
your past is part of who you are
part of who you will be
it is your own..different than what anyone else sees
but know all is not lost,
you will soon rise, just don’t give up…no matter the cost’

gulping air I spoke the words of my mind
‘this misery, this pain…is there any end?’

He smiled as he gave his response,
not wanting to break me…but telling the truth
‘In this life, unfortunately not
but in the end you’ll find all that you sought
I promise you wont regret the pain that you felt
you wont regret all the times that you wept
you’ll realize the reality of this life
and the fact that its fake
temporary and fleeting
with great gaps and important parts missing
when you are back with Him you’ll understand
He was there the whole time, holding your hand
and you’ll smile and nod your head…
it was all worth it in the end….’